July 16, 2008

The Anonymous Post

So guys... here it is... a post from someone you probably don't know, anonymously. Mine's out there somewhere, but I'm not spilling the beans.

Here goes - unedited and unabridged.

When my husband I were first dating, he invited me to a company christmas function. This function was being held at a large hotel in the town we were from, and he had booked a room as he had planned to drink. He invited me to stay over night with him, and being the easy tramp I was.... ahem.. I mean, as I didn't want to offend him I said yes. (hehe). As the day arrived, I was soo excited to finally get to spend the night with this amazingly sexy guy. I went out and got my hair done, bought pretty new undies, the whole thing. You can imagine my horror when I got up that morning and the "female curse" or as I like to call it "Aunt Flo from Red River" decided to rear her ugly head. I was mortified! The next I was guaranteed hot sex all night long, my freakin' period started! And, as we had only been dating just over a month (yes, I was a tramp) I didn't quite know how to tell him, and I certainly wasn't going to back out.

So, he picks me up and I head out with him, my overnight bag not packed with sexy underwear, but with granny panties and tampons. He looked amazing all dressed up, and kept looking at me with that "hea baby" look. I managed to get through the dinner and dancing fine, and almost forgot about my "situation" until we went back to the room.

We started kissing, and somehow ended up on the bed. I became reserved at this point, not quite sure how to tell him my "situation". He immediately felt me pulling away, and very gently looked at me and said 3 words I will never in my life forget:

"Are you gay?"

I burst out laughing, a real big belly laugh that makes your eyes water and leaves you with hiccups. I assured him I was not gay, but was having a "female visitor".

That incredibly sexy man and I will be married 10 years next month, and we still joke about that time of every month when I'm "gay".

16 comments:

Stefanie said...

Ha! I can't believe that was his first assumption, and that he actually said it out loud. Glad to hear a little awkwardness in the early stages isn't a deal-breaker, though. :-)

lizgwiz said...

That is hilarious!

Aunt Flo LOVES to come at the worst possible time, in my experience. "Are you gay?" Hee.

Ween said...

CLASSIC.

Dr Zibbs said...

You bought pretty new panties? OK you need to reveal who wrote this.

Allie said...

Oh, that's adorable!

Sauntering Soul said...

I'm going to still be laughing about this tonight. Too funny!

nancypearlwannabe said...

Hilarious!

Allie said...

Great story!!

Julia said...

Fabulous! You could have said, "Yes. The man inside of me is gay and thinks your totally hot!"

seven said...

That's hilarious. What a funny inside joke.

Lara said...

Ha! that's hilarious!

Oh, and I think I'm more trampy than you, as I had sex with my husband on our 3rd date (shame shame!)

Pants said...

Hilarious! I love that you and your husband now refer to you once mothly gayness. :-)

3carnations said...

That is perhaps the funniest thing I've ever heard. I love that you're married, and can joke about your "gayness" every month!

Thanks so much for sharing that!

Noelle said...

Sounds like you two will be a good match!

Courtney said...

That made me laugh out loud!

Nic said...

This is such a great story!