September 12, 2005

Stress on my Head

Am I nervous? No. Am I excited? Well, I've lost that twitterpatted feeling, but I'm definitely still looking forward to the whole thing (whole thing = moving to Alabama, for those who have just arrived).

The main emotion running through my veins at the moment? As you may have guessed, it is indeed, stress. Stress on my head. I met Conseulo on Friday and we had a lovely chat. She's nice, I'm nice, we're all just plain ol' nice. It'll be a nice trip. A long, long, excruciatingly long trip, but a nice one none the less.

Why the stress, you may ask? The problem that highlights all of the problems I have had in my early adulthood has reared it's ugly head. It was always there, to be sure, but since the aforementionned twitterpation has faded this problem has become enormous, life squashing, life threatening even, if you have a thing for melodrama.

I'm not even going to dignify the problem with a name. If you know me, you know what it is.

But to move on to bigger and better things: The reason I've gone another few days without an update is that I had the great fourtune of spending the weekend in Truro with some of my very most favortist people ever in the whole big wide world. It was lovely. And besides a tumultuous game of Taboo, it was a simply sensational weekend.

Then we had to say goodbye. How do you say goodbye to people that you can't imagine not being around? How do you close the door and drive away? I hate saying goodbye, because it never feels satisfactory enough. We hug, we wave, we promise to stay in touch. But I always feel like there's something else I could have said to make the goodbye more something.

However it's done, I haven't figured out. Maybe I've mislabeled that unsatisfied feeling. It's not because the goodbye wasn't enough, but because it means that I'm now without that person I said goodbye to. The conversation, even if just temporarily, has now closed.

People ask if I'm nervous or excited. I'm not really either, anymore, at least not for the past two days. To clarify, I'm both nervous and excited, but my stomach isn't, which makes me think that I'm not. I think that it basically just means I'm ready to go. All I have left to worry about is the stress of actually going.

And that my friends, is the fun part.

I leave in eight days.

4 comments:

Holly said...

You went to Truro but you couldn't come to Moncton to see your favorite newlyweds??? I am very sad. :(

Shannon said...

Ev'y... You make me cry... and i'm sad that goodbye is for a long time, not a summer, not a weekend, not a few weeks but a long time.

I love you so friggin much.. I'll try to come visit...even if it is a very very long long drive.

Love ya!

Evelyn said...

I'm sorry Holly! I want to come see you superdy duper bad! But I was strapped into a car driven by another person, and alas, I was bound by where they wanted to go.

I get home 2-3 times a year, and dad hinted at something about plane tickets and Christmas, so don't worry! this isn't the last of me!

Jill said...

Hope you enjoy Alabama. I spent some of my childhood there in Tuscaloosa and in Brewton. People still occasionally look at me funny if I order grits with breakfast. Good luck...you'll have to decide which college team to follow. Alabama (Roll Tide) or Auburn (War Eagle). I say Roll Tide!