September 02, 2005

Where am I?

This is a meme/cop-out for a real post, that has been dwelling in my mind for a couple of weeks. It's basically a personal space inventory: taking a look around and seeing where you are both in time and space.

It comes in two parts, the first being space where you actually look around you and record what you see and any possible meanings. The second, time, is a little more abstract and it could also be taken to mean "spiritually" too, but that sounds kind of mamby pamby to me so I didn't go that route.

Whether or not that makes sense, I don't really care, but here's what I've been thinking about lately:

Space

To the right - I see my obviously slept in bed, a messy side table, and a generally untidy room. It's an expression of how my head has been operating lately, and evidence of my tendency to avoid difficult things (re: the ostrich post a few days down).

To the left - The view out of my window is blocked by my ever-running fan. It works tirelessly to keep my room cool, and is a painful reminder that I'm moving to one of the hottest regions of North America, and I'm not going to like it one bit.

Backwards - A bookshelf full of textbooks I've never read and reference books I'll never need. On top are a variety of souvenirs from Albania and the Czech Republic. I guess it serves as a reminder that I actually did go to university and I have been to a couple of places...

Forwards - The wall. My degree is hung here, just high enough that I have to actually move my head to see it. It looks pretty cool there, but it serves as a reminder of the effort I didn't put in to my education. There should be an "honours" there after Bachelor of Arts. But below that is a copy one of my favorite paintings, To Prince Edward Island by Alex Colville. I have no idea why I like (her arm kind of looks weird), but I do. Why is that guy behind her? Are they on vacation? Why does she need binoculars? What is she looking at?



Time (for lack of a better word)

Hold on kids, this gets a little sappy...

To the right and left - I see family and friends cheering me on and sad to see me go. The image in my head isn't static, but we're walking forward together (awwww, isn't that sweet)

Backwards - Guilt and reluctance. Apprehension. Events that bog me down. All the things that cause me to avoid reality and indulge in things that don't matter.

Forwards - Oppurtunity and a whole whack of change. It's surreal. When I think about it or talk about it with other people it almost seems like I'm playing a game or acting (and I'm a pretty bad actor). Am I really moving to Alabama? Is this really what's happening? Two weeks from today I will most likely be in a car with someone I've never met, driving to a place I've never been, to work at a job I've never done.

This should be interesting.

3 comments:

Marpla-Barcelonauta said...

Wow, great idea. I´m looking all around me just now, and all around my life to. Insightful

Anonymous said...

you are so cute.. i wish you would post another picture of you!

Evelyn said...

umm, awkward?