August 01, 2008

The Challenge

When I found out the name of this blog was 'And you Miss, are no lady' I figured it would be a perfect fit. I'm no lady either, and I'm also not Evelyn. I'm Ashley from This? Is Not the Life I Ordered and I am taking this blog hostage.


OK not really, I'm just part of a blog swap and I got teamed with Evelyn, so you can find her at my place today. Which you will go check out, after you finish reading mine of course.


So as you have heard by now, my name is Ashley. Like Evelyn, I am going through a quarter life crisis of mass proportions for the past year, only I live in NYC which I am a strong believer only amplifies the crisis. I'm now 26, a full year older than a quarter century and well, its not any easier so far.

But that's not what i want to talk about in this post. (If you happen to read me, you'll know I go off on tangents. Like....ALOT)

I had a hard time coming up with a topic for this post, so much pressure to perform and be funny and witty and clever and a whole slew of great things a guest blogger is expected to be. I mean obviously i am ALL OF THOSE AND MORE but what if I really suck today?

So I was thinking of what I could possibly write about, looking to my adventures as a mid twenty something in the city and wasn't finding much inspiration. I then looked at my blog's archives and couldn't get inspired either. (Wow apparently I think I'm inspiring. I am painting a very egotistical picture of myself right now.) Then, over tequila sunrises at this great happy hour place near where I work, a good guy friend of mine dropped a subject right into my lap.

He then put his hand on my lap. I think its safe to presume he likes me a little more than friends.

ANYWAY. (Wow ADD much? Evelyn is so wishing she had been paired with someone else.)

We were talking about why I don't have luck with guys, how I have a hard time meeting people in bars. I don't know about you, but every time I go out, thinking I look like hot shit, thinking that guys would be idiots to not hit on me in this outfit, I don't meet one single person. The creepy guy will try to cop a feel, the barely 21 year old, never had a drink before in his life, little boy will try to have a conversation with me but usually before you know it, its the end of the night and I'm home. Alone. In my own bed.

How is it that I am so unapproachable? How is it that I have had over 30 dates in the past year but all were from (Yes, I would say I'm the master at online dating. I'm just not very successful.) Why can't I meet guys in regular, normal settings?

'You're more of a challenge.'

I had to clarify that he didnt say I was challenged. He claims, despite his always ribbing on me, that i am just a challenge. (According to him)(because you already think i'm this crazy egostical bia) I'm the hot girl in the bar, with the nice body but I'm a little more of a challenge because I'm not going to smile at you right away. I take a little longer to warm up to people. I may make you work a little harder to gain my attention. I will chat with you should you try, but that's if you try.

Then there's our friend Dancer. You walk into the bar and she's all BAM! She's smiling at you, all her assets are shown and you know what you're going to get. She is going to let you buy her a drink, will talk nice to you and at the end of the night theres a good chance she's going home with you if you pay her enough attention. Dancer is a lot of fun, always the life of the party and always the one dancing on the top of the bar. I always love partying with her because its nonstop action, and I get to be part of her life for a little while.

If a guy walks into a bar and me and Dancer are standing next to each other, they're going to go for her, figures it won't be too hard to strike up a convo (and whatever else) with her. Me, I'm the challenge, I'm a little harder to get to. But (and he was probably just making all this stuff up just to make me feel better, especially this last part) the challenges are always the most worth it.

Part of me feels proud to be this little challenge type, to be worth all the trouble. But when guys don't ever want to go to the trouble to get past my walls? It's a little disheartening. What if being a challenge isn't such a great thing?

I think you need to be a little bit of both, a little bit of a Dancer, with just enough challenge to keep them on their toes.

I'm like friggin Mt. Everest, only the brave try and not that many survive. Balance? I've never heard of it.

So readers, where do you fall? And what are your tricks to keeping that right balance?

Now I will leave you to discuss amongst yourselves. Thanks for keeping me company and much thanks to Evelyn for being a lovely host and not deleting this blog post in disgust (that is, if she hasn't done so. :) )


Confused said...

I think personality-wise I'd be more of the challenge type. But no-one would ever dream of calling me the hot girl. So I'm unapprochable and not worth the effort. Urgh, good thing I studied electrical engineering, at least I'm constantly surrounded by guys, and guys who know what I'm talking about when I make a geeky joke ;-)

Anonymous said...

Love this post! good job guest-posting! You can totally guest post on my blog any time!
There is nothing wrong with being 'the challenge'. Well, it's frustrating, but I guess you should feel good knowing that only those that are really interested are gonna stick around, right?

Anonymous said...

hot post, love it! I completely agree with you, it's all about being a little of both: flirtatious and bubbly but modest and enigmatic, giving just enough but never too much.

Yoda said...

You do not want all the attention from various guys at bars. Those guys are worth shit anyways. You just need to pique the interest of ONE guy, that's all.