August 14, 2005

Les Fromage

It's been rainy here the past couple of days. Nice, heavy rain. So heavy it drowned out the television and the neighbour's fighting. Rain makes me want to listen to Josh Groban, so I did.

Ma and I rented a movie this evening, The Hostage starring Bruce Willis.

I really should have known. Bruce Willis isn't really known for his intellectually stimulating films. He's definitely one of Les Roi de Fromage, if not the king of all things cheesy (I believe I've already given this title to John Travolta re: Ladder 49 and anything else he's ever been in... but they can share). Anywho, we watched it tonight, and I just couldn't get past the insane cheesiness that was this movie.

My favorite part was the close shot of Bruce's crazy eyes. His family had been kidnapped. He saw them tied up in the back of a van... boo hoo. I might have cared a bit more if they hadn't closed in on his googly eyes as he looked on in horror. He'd be great at those soap opera pre-commercial shots (what do you mean your pregnant with my son's wife's child? dum dum dum).

Who the heck were the bad guys anyway? I just didn't get the ending. I thought I was following, but I must have missed some key part of the plot, because in the end I really didn't know who was supposed to be shooting who. Nor did I care.

All the key elements of cheese were present. Mean important cop boss that always yells (though to their credit, it was a girl), whiny child, crazy teen with daddy issues, fake FBI (or were they?), obviously disposable cops, and my personal favorite: the classic backlit shot of Bruce walking in front of a helicopter.

I know that none of it really matters. It's just a movie afterall. And what's one more cheesy flick?

The part I should be more worried about is the fact that I spent Saturday night at home with my ma watching a cheesy movie.


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