August 07, 2005

Step One: Independence

I hate the real-world. I knew it was coming, parents and professors a like warned me that it was coming and that I needed to be prepared. I was optimistic.

"It can't be that bad!", I would say as I ate my supper of
Lipton Sidekicks, while watching TV and putting off another paper to the last minute. The real-world I had learned was flexible. I could manipulate time and space to suit my needs quite nicely. There was no deadline that could not be altered, no food that could not be flavoured, and no time of day or night that could not be used for working.

Enter reality.

It's 3 months post-graduation, and I haven't had a single interview. It could be that I was aiming too high above minimum wage by applying for things like administrative assistant and the like, things I am only barely qualified for.

I need a job. Not in that, "wouldn't it be nice to have something to do in my spare time?" kind of way, but in the "Wouldn't it be nice to not be drowning in debt, have money to live on and avoid mooching?" way.

The problem is (and it is a problem), I'm too idealistic.

I don't want to work at something that I'll hate, or that is insignificant. I don't want to sell things, or represent something I could care very little about. Nor do I want to loathe going to work every day like most of the members of my family tend to do.

Yesterday I was at a funeral for a
great aunt I didn't know and my grandmother said to me, "Just find work, that's the main thing." My first reaction is that that isn't the main thing! There's more to life than slaving away at a job I hate, just so I can afford to buy that sofa set I've had my eye on for the past fifteen years.

The reality is, I need a job. It's not only the self-reliance thing, but the reality of my large debt and the fact that I'm living at home with my mother, who can't afford this place any more than I can.

I have an interview next week with
Three Springs. I need this one to work out for so many reasons.
  1. I can't think of much else that I would rather do.
  2. It would get me away from the things I need to get away from.
  3. It's in Alabama! Geesh! I could go to New Orleans on a long weekend!!!

If it doesn't turn out, I'm not sure what I'll do. But I know that I will just have to suck it up, be glad that I had a good summer vacation, and learn to deal with reality.

Yeah... I didn't believe me either.

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