Stuck in Downward Dog - Review

I was a little leery in choosing this book to review as a part of the Mini Book Expo. It falls under the "chick-lit" category - and I've never been particularly inspired to read anything from that category. After reading, "Stuck in Downward Dog" by Chantel Simmons, I'm still not.

"Mara Brennan is about to unravel. Three days after her twenty-eighth birthday, her boyfriend dumps her, leaving her with nothing but a basement apartment, a futon and a pile of unpaid bills. On top of that, her job, working as a receptionist at a cosmetic surgery clinic, is a nightmare; her boss is a tyrant; and her best friends have gotten ahead of her in the game of life. Mara realizes it’s time for an identity makeover."

There's nothing glaringly wrong about the book - It moves along alright, though it seems to take forever to get started. The characters (flat and obvious) are clearly developed (although the boss is hardly a tyrant), and there are no loose ends at the conclusion.

I'm no literary critic, but like with most art, I know what I like, and I didn't like this. It really isn't about anything. The rising action of the novel is an ill planned dinner party, and it falls short. I don't care about what this book is about. I can't relate to the characters, which is odd since I'm in the same stage of life as these ladies. I didn't like the main character, Mara, at all. She wasn't just naive and "zany" as others have described her. She was dumb and ignorant of the world around her.

I didn't laugh out loud either, just like I no longer laugh out loud to any early 2000's sitcom. These 261 pages are just that, a forgettable sitcom where TV actors go to fizzle away into nothing. It's just missing the plastic soundtrack and canned laughter.

I've read plenty of books where I have nothing in common with the characters, and still loved them, so that's not the problem here. Her problems are just so ridiculously mundane, I couldn't get into it, because I couldn't care less.

Maybe it's a Toronto vs. Maritimes thing? I don't know... there's just nothing of lasting value here. If you want to read a book that has no impact on your life, leaves you annoyed with the 20 something generation (even when you're a part of it), and that you care very little about, this one's for you.

There's a reason 90% of the books in library sales are authored by women, and this is part of it.

Danke

BoingBoing has brought me a great deal of joy lately... It sure is a directory of wonderful things.

I was recently introduced to a little site for a Mini Book Expo. Here's the dilly. The site runner... I think her name is Lex, gets books from publishers. She then posts some info about the book and how many copies are available. You comment on the post, and tell her you'd like to review it. She sends it to you (at no cost to you), and you post a review on your blog. Pretty sweet, eh?

The sugar on top is that it's a Canadian site, and it's pretty much exclusive to residents of Canada (or at least those with a Canadian address). You can only get two at a time, in order to share the love, but as soon as you post your review, you can sign on for another one.

The two I'm presently waiting for are:

Vacation Adventures on a Cargo Ship - Adrian Peetoom: "In Vacation Adventures on a Cargo Ship, Adrian Peetoom recounts his voyages aboard the container ships Ville d'Aquarius and Sydney Star. Adrian and his wife, Johanna, had long been fascinated by cargo ship travel as a way to journey to foreign ports at a much more reasonable cost than the trips offered by large cruise ship companies. After Adrian retired from his publishing career, the couple embarked on two voyages. What Adrian and Johanna experienced will fascinate armchair travellers and those who may be interested in investigating container ship travel for themselves. "

and

Stuck in Downward Dog - Chantel Simmons: "Dumped by her boyfriend, stuck in a job she hates, and living in a basement apartment, Mara realizes it's time for an identity makeover. She devises the "OM List," a personal pathway to perfection that will guarantee her finding the perfect job, creating the perfect home, cooking the perfect meal, and being the perfect friend. Mara hilariously tries and fails at all the things she thinks will make her the sophisticated grown-up she wants to be."

The Downward Dog one has the potential to be very lame, but the lead character is 25, and that's a number I'll be introduced to this time next week!

So stay tuned for those reviews, I'm sure they'll be spectacular.

That's How I Roll

Owning this t-shirt would be perfection. I say this to kids all the time. I do it because it makes me sound "hip", though by saying I'm "hip", I'm automatically not. But if I had this shirt, I could just point, and they'd know. That would be hip.

It appears I'm on a bit of a book kick these days. These kicks of mine come by every now and again, but they don't usually stick around that long. I've been obsessed with various things throughout my life, and to the naked eye they may seem unrelated... and they really are, I guess I would be the common factor... I remember obsessing over "Stars on Ice" for a week or two. I really, really, really wanted to go see them when they came to Halifax. This was back when it was Kurt Browning, Brian somethingorother, the blonde one who does the shampoo commercial now.... is it shampoo? I dunno, I guess the obsession wasn't that strong.

Then there was the Beatles phase that hit around grade 8. I used to call in to the radio station to make a request, but I was embarrassed so I used to make up a name. With any obsession, like addiction, there is some element of shame. I don't think many people outside of my family knew just how consumed by something I would get.

Then there were the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. That was probably the worst event of hyper-focus I've ever experienced. The Olympic obsession has probably had more staying power than the others, I'll still be glued to the TV during the Beijing Olympics... I feel like I owe it to the CBC (this being their last kick at the can). During the '96 Olympics I painstakingly cut out every article the Chronicle Herald had to give, and taped them into scrapbooks. I still have those scrapbooks.

I was a little less insane during Nagano in 1998, but only a little less so. I just did the article thing for the first week, but I saved every photo I could find online onto a bunch of floppy discs. I guess I had no concept of these things being immediately accessible from anywhere for the rest of my life, thanks to teh internets.

I can't really explain what happens when these phases hit. It's like an absolute, unsalvable compulsion. I haaaaaaaaaaaad to watch the Beatles Anthology just. one. more. time. I haaaaaaaaaaaad to watch all the Olympic coverage, I had to know everything. Whatever it was (is) my mind is completely consumed with it for a period of time. Those periods of time seem to be a bit shorter these days, but it still happens.

So as I was saying.... books are nice. If you like free books you should visit Bookmooch.com. It's pretty simple. You put some books on there that you have and are willing to give away. Then when people ask for one, you mail it to them. You get points depending on what you give away, and you ask for books, and people mail them to you. The cost is whatever you pay for shipping, but the books (and signing up) are free.

I'm hoping to shed some of the unwanted books that I've been carting around from place to place and collect some of the classics I'm currently missing. Right now I'm anticipating the arrival of Michael Ondaatje's The English Patient. I'm jonesing for some new livres.

jones - (jōnz) n. Heroin.
An addiction or craving. intr.v. jonesed, jones·ing, jones·es To have an eager or intense desire: "was jonesing for caffeine" [Perhaps from the name Jones.]

Perhaps.

Nostalgia

I was a voracious reader as a kid. It was common for me to spend a Saturday reading and get through 4 or 5 Babysitters Club books. I would walk down to the library and come home with a healthy stack, but not before having to convince the ornery librarian that I was old enough to read whatever I had picked out. I remember always having to go the bathroom when I got there and never having the courage to ask for the key...


Here are some of the series I devoured in Elementary School:

• Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls

I could still pick this up today and probably love it as much as I did then. I always had a fascination with pioneer days and the "olden times". I don't think I discovered these until grade 4 or 5, but I'm pretty sure I read them all in a weekend.

• Anne of Green Gables - Lucy Maud Montgomery

I remember it taking me a while to collect and read the entire series. My middle name is Marilla, which is a name most people have never heard of outside of these books. I used to watch the movies and try to make my hair poofy like Anne's when she was older, but I could never get it to look right.

• Bobbsey Twins - Laura Lee Hope

I don't remember much about the Bobbsey Twins, I think I read them when I was pretty young.

• Encyclopedia Brown - Donald J. Sobel

It was hard to get through the whole book without just skipping to the end. I read these when I was pretty little too, but I don't recall being a huge fan. This was before I was a picky reader.

• Boxcar Children - Gertrude Chandler Warner

Looooved these books. I loved the first one, all about how they lived in the boxcar. There was a secluded area behind my house near a swamp and I imagined them living there. These I also read in early elementary school.

• Eric Wilson Mysteries

These aren't really a series, but they are a bunch of myteries for kids that take place around Canada... Lunenburg, PEI... all over. The author includes a lot of Canadian history and geography, I couldn't get enough. But there weren't a lot when I was a kid, and I could never (and still can't) read a book twice.

• From Anna - Jean Little

I recall there being a series of three, "From Anna" being the first. I read these in grade 5 when my mother asked my teacher for some more challenging books. It's about a German girl who immigrates to Canada either during the first or second world war. It's probably still one of the best things I've ever read. There's a lot of history in it, but the characters are what you care most about. I still remember a lot of what happened in this book, which says a lot because I don't usually remember much once I put it down.

• Babysitters Club - Anne M. Martin

I'd read 3-4 a day in early elementary school. I wanted to be Claudia. I was shocked later on when I went into a used book store and saw hundreds and hundreds of these pink books.

• Sweet Valley High - Francine Pascal

The librarian was probably right, I might have been a little young for these but I read ' em anyway.

Stellarton Library

Yes, that's the whole thing

Summer 2008 Reading List - Updated Frequently

List of Books I'm Most Likely Going to Read Depending on Whether or Not They Come in to My Particular Library Branch: (updated often)

The Robber Bride -Margaret Atwood

A Day in the Life of the American Woman: How We See Ouselves - Sharon Wohlmoth

Everything is Illuminated: Jonathan Safran Foer

A Midwife's Tale: The Life of Martha Ballard based on her diary, 1785 - 1812 - Laurel Ulrich

A Room of One's Own - Viginia Woolf

Somebody Else's Daughter - Elizabeth Brundage

The Sugar Queen - Sarah Addison Allen

Little Brother - Cory Doctorow

The World According to Garp - John Irving

Stuck in Downward Dog - Chantel Simmons

Vacation Adventures on a Cargo Ship - Adrian Peetoom

Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom - Cory Doctorow

UPDATE: I've decided to join the "Summer Reading Thing" Challenge. Having pursued many challenges in the past with little success (i.e. Dean's List Club, War and Peace Challenge), I'm signing up with some trepidation... At any rate, this list will likely change in the future to fit what I actually plan on reading, but this approximation will have to do for now.

And then...

So I changed the layout again, not much, but I didn't like how squishy the text looked. Oh what I would do for knowledge of HTML. Heck, maybe I'll even take a course in it?

But how you ask? Considering I work an unpredictable schedule that changes at a moments notice? Well my dears, because I finally landed a full-time gig! Wahoo!

I work in a unionized environment, so it's a little complicated for you laymen, but what happened is my "knowledge" was assessed and I scored high enough to win a full-time term position. Basically what this means is I know my schedule from now until May (when the term ends). Until now I've been classed as Permanent Part Time, which means I have a guarantee of 40 hours every two weeks and all the hours above that depend on sick calls and vacation time that needs to be covered. So I've been working an average of 80 hours a pay period, but what the hours are changes on a day to day basis. My schedule now is the same shifts each pay period. I have every Friday off and four days in a row off every two weeks. It's sweet.

I added a little gadgety thing over there in the bottom right hand corner that tells me my blog currently has a Junior High reading level... I'm not sure how I feel about that but I've never really gone for literary excellence here, so I guess it's an expected result...

Speaking of reading: if you told yourself you were going to read 15 books in two months (July and August), what would you read? I was going to aim for 30 books in two months, but that's a bit lofty considering I couldn't even handle one War and Peace in 6 months.

Comportment

I recently finished reading "Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History" by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. I wouldn't label myself as a feminist by any streach, but I definitely found the ideas explored by this book intriguing.

She focuses mostly on three central women: Christine de Pizan, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Virgina Woolf. All women I know nearly nothing about. In the beginning she asks why it is that women who make history are judged to have "misbehaved" in some way. It's an interesting question... She talks about an unspoken history that until recent generations was largely ignored by the authors of history. The history of women has been documented in quilts, in well-swept paths, in kitchen pots, in the little notes tucked away in family Bibles. I'm not so much interested in the idea of women as oppressed by their forced domesticity (men, of course, being the problem), but I'm interested in the gaps of our collective knowledge created because women in past centuries were generally not permitted to develop their gifts. Some stories are able to peak through time, but there's a lot we could have learned from people not able to teach because they weren't able to learn themselves.

Two things I've noticed in the paper over the last few weeks have annoyed me. Firstly, Yves St. Laurent died. That in itself isn't particularly annoying, I'm sure he was great, but if I'm honest I already thought he had died. I generally don't associate brands as being people... but that's another story. In both articles I read concerning his passing, the journalists praised YSL for having librated women from the tyranny of wearing skirts. Through his innovative design and influence he (apparently single handedly) made it fashionable for women to wear pants. I'm not sure how "liberating" it is for women to be permitted to wear pants because a member of the opposing gender has determined that it is now fashionable. Is that a triumph for "womenkind"?

Secondly, on a page hidden in the bowels of the Chronicle Herald, above an advertisement for motivational speaking and flamenco dancing, there was a picture of a garbage dump. Between two piles of trash there was a path on which a little boy was walking with a grocery bag, apparently sorting through some garbage. On the piles of garbage stood a handful of cranes (I think they were cranes). The caption read something about how the crane-like creatures were being threatened by the enroaching human population. I was a little suprised, given that I thought the focus of the picture was a little boy picking through garbage. I remember hearing stories from missionaries about how children in South America (and likely other places too) went to the dump on a regular basis to collect items that can be cashed in later to help with the household income. But apparently the photographer was more impressed by the plight of cranes than little barefooted boys...

Here's a quote from the book:

"If well-behaved women seldom make history, it is not only because gender
norms have constrained the range of female activity but because history hasn't
been very good at capturing the lives of those whose contributions have been
local and domestic. For centuries, women have sustained local communities,
raising food, caring for the sick and picking up the pieces after wars. Today,
because more women are educated and communication is easier, more of these
projects get noticed, but the work has just begun... Well-behaved women make
history when they do the unexpected, when they create and preserve records, and
when later generations care." pp 227-228

Participaction

I don't like to talk about my place of work (other than how I work a lot), due to the confidentiality issues and my employer's sensitivity to publicity. At any rate, this will probably not get me in trouble... probably...

Through my work, my pay check is controlled and influenced by various bureaucratic entities, namely the provincial government and a Union. So far I'm a fan of being in a union, as I'm likely paid a more respectable rate because there is a conglomerate to fight for me. We just signed a new contract and received a new budget, which in turn means I get a raise.

This I like. Additionally, the raise came into effect in April of '07, so once the budget comes in I get a retro check bringing me all up to date. This I like. Plus plus, we now have shift premiums which means $0.50 on top for every hour of night shift I have worked since October.

I don't know why I'm telling you this, it's probably TMI. But essentially what it means is I can go laptop shopping, and I'm very excited about this.

We're not talking windfall here, but enough to get something respectable-ish. I'm not sure what to get... I'm leaning towards an HP, mostly because I don't find the Acer brand particularly attractive (they're both the same price). I'd love to get a Mac, but they're too pricey for me. I'm also excited about the prospect of going in and paying cash for a big ticket item, instead of paying it off over time, or *gasp* saving up.

Now, actually going to the store and purchasing a laptop may take some will, as it's hard for me to go and spend any amount of money on a big purchase. Especially when it could go to many other worthy places such as my student loan. Though that already saps much of my joy as it is, I don't think I should let it take more.

I probably shouldn't talk about money. Isn't that what social convention tells us? It's not like I'm living the life of Riley over here or anything. Is it ok to say that I'm self-satisfied in knowing that I can sustain my life while also working at a *shocker* career I enjoy and actually studied to do? Cuz I'm pretty happy about that, and very grateful, because I know there are a lot of post-students out there who can't say the same thing. And don't worry, I know exactly to Whom I am grateful, as well.

Moving on.

Last year I said I was going to read War and Peace by June 1st. After about 30 pages I gave up, deciding that I didn't want to devote the time required to something I wasn't enjoying. Fortunately I have rekindled my library relationship and I've read a lot of good books lately, most recently "The Kite Runner", which I'm sure you've started reading since my last post.

Unlike last year, my current "resolution" of sorts has continued well into the second month. I haven't had any MacDonald's or fast food of most kinds (I went to Subway twice, a decision forced out of a need for convenience), and no pop. The best part is I'm not even craving it like I thought I would. Pop and fast food mean heart burn and death. That's what I keep telling myself.

And now it's lent, so ice cream (the solver of all problems) and I are now on the outs. In addition to that, I've changed my eating habits in a big way, reducing carbs, simple sugars, upping the veggie and fruit intake and reducing fats and sodium. I won't pat myself on the back just yet, as it's only been about a week. But already I can tell a difference, and I have way more energy than normal. I have lots stacked against me: I'm a shiftworker, and a poor family history (lots of cancer, heart and brain issues). Let's just see how long this lasts, shall we?

This week a friend and I are joining the gym, which means I get to buy new sneakers. Wahoo!

Nothing of Significance

You know how sometimes you get songs stuck in your head? Somedays I have a word stuck in my head... it replays itself in various parts of my inner monologue but it rarely creeps out in real conversation. I'll also see it spelled out in various fonts. Is that weird?

The other day I had the pleasure of driving the old '95 Camry that I call home over the 250 000 mark. It was nifty and if anyone has an extra set of struts and shocks you can send them my way. We don't just try to avoid pot holes, we swerve as if the existence of time and space itself will be ripped in twain if we hit it the wrong way. Anyone needing some help in progressing labour can go for a ride in the back seat. If that doesn't do it, you weren't pregnant in the first place.

Is it possible to get mini migraines? I feel like maybe that's what I get... there's sensitivity to light and certain noises, and it usually starts with a whole lot of nausea. Unfortunately I was eating some smoked salmon at the time of the nausea, so I don't think I'll be having that any time soon.

I just finished reading "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini, and it was perfect. It's a lovely round ball of literary goodness. It takes place in Afghanistan over a period of several years, and I can't say enough good things about it. I won't tell you anything about it, but you definitely need to read it. There's a movie based on the novel and it's in the theatres here until Wednesday so I'm going to try and get out to see it.

Speaking of Afghanistan, I think we need to stay there... There's going to be a confidence vote in parliament over the extension of the combat mission there, and I think that unless the local authorities are fully capable in handling security, we should stay and help. We're not even giving them prisoners at this point because they're being tortured in Afghani prisons... I'm pretty sure that if it were possible to end the combat mission they would, and that the Canadian army using guns just because they can, and if that were no longer needed they would change tactics. At least I hope so. But if their hands are tied and there are less options it seems that things could destabilize quite quickly.

Then again, I've never been there so really, what do I know?

My nephew is coming soon! Just under a month left unless she goes way overdue, which is entirely possible. Despite his growth and the shrinking space he has to play in, Sheamus is still moving around quite a bit and it is very cool. And weird... like an alien trying to break out of her intestines. I think he was trying to moon us the other day, unless that was his head poking through.

I guess that's it for random thoughts of the day. I hear we're supposed to have a snowstorm tomorrow, so enjoy!

I want to Dance!

Ever have that desire to write, but nothing (seemingly) to write about? Inspiration sans content, that is me.

Perhaps I should be more observant in my every day life, therefore aquiring little anecdotes to brighten your day. It's not so much that I'm not observant, as I have no life. No seriously. I have no life. I work, I sleep, I occasionally scrapbook. C'est tout.

Alright, maybe that's not all... I have dabled in the church thing again, which is great. I've been to Birch Cove Baptist a few times and it'll probably stick. My schedule has been uncooperative, making that one hour a week amazingly impossible to fit in. I may go Catholic, they have more options.

Sunday night was spent at the Lower Deck after work. A bar as old as the city it entertains. I'd never been there before, and was a little surprised at how small it is. But it's refreshingly "maritimey", quaint, and swashbucklingly festive. If Johnny Depp had stepped into the room in full pirate garb, he would not have been out of place. The band was Signal Hill, a fav among the locals. Who goes out on a Sunday night besides binging Dal students you ask? That would be those of us who are excited when Monday gets here because it means a day off.

I finally switched over to Statcounter to find out who's been visiting. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner, whatever I was using before only told me the last ten visits and nine of them were usually me. 16, 500 visits later I've upgraded. What I did know previously was that the keyword that most often brought visitors was "Jillian Jiggs". I think I mentionned it a year ago, but the people are still interested. A few visitors were looking for "North Preston's Finest", the name (according to the papers) of a gang of pimps... Hopefully they mean no harm... I'm super nice!

Speaking of sixteen thousand, five hundred visits... I'm rather proud of that number as I've earned it 2-5 visits per day. Maybe I should mention Jillian Jiggs and pimp gangs more often?

My latest internet guilty pleasure is visiting a number of Northern Blogs, written by people who make their living north of the tree line. I know I've said it before, but I really, really, really want to move there. I consider it often. I've been checking the job postings in Noonavoot, but there hasn't been much I'm qualified for. They send most of their kids to Alberta when they're in care, and I haven't determined if there's a group home there or what.

Today I read "The Bad Mother's Handbook" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I've ended up being a picky reader, I used to read anything that was handy, but now if I'm not grabbed by the author's style in the first page or so, the chances that I'll actually finish it are slim. I cannot stand cheesy or predictable writing, it makes me bonkers. And there are major demerits for typos. When I publish my Oprah Winfrey book of the month and Giller Prize nominee, there will not be a tpyo. I pormise.